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Thinking and praying about adoption? We know that the list of results from a google search is totally overwhelming. Find someone you trust that has been through it. Talk to them. Pray with them. Find people that have adopted recently and some that adopted many years ago. Listen to their stories and ask them for advice. (Ignore advice from folks that have not walked the road. They are afraid for you and cannot always be objective.)
(Don't adopt because the Pastor of your church said "We should adopt because we are adopted". Don't adopt out of guilt. Do it only because you are certain you should and certain you will fight with all your might to raise your child. Adoption as a "movement" in churches is concerning to me. It has to be more personal than a Pastor telling you to do it.) Read this post, about Orphan Sunday.
We adopted two of our children from Haiti before we ever lived here. The orphanage our children were placed in back in 2001 is no longer operating. (Yes, there was an issue of corruption - Nope, not what you guessed - the American woman behind it was the problem.) As with all international adoption, the process is somewhat difficult and can be very long. We love the gift of adoption and believe that with caution it is something very worth pursuing. We have since adopted a third Haitian child and consider it an honor, joy, and privilege to love and parent these fabulous children.
We now struggle a lot with the fact that one of our three kids probably should never have been placed. He was a "poverty orphan" and we have a lot of really difficult questions and some guilt about that. Do a ton of research. Think about how children come to be placed and be sure you are questioning someone that has a lot of healthy babies in their orphanage - that is a red flag.
If you are thinking of adopting from Haiti:
We don't currently recommend any one orphanage or program in Haiti. We would strongly urge against a handful. (I would personally not choose His Home for Children or Giving Hope Rescue Mission.) A simple Google search should help you find them quickly. Not all orphanages in Haiti are licensed to process adoptions. We recommend that you research the methods and procedures of the orphanage thoroughly. Some orphanages in Haiti take children from their families of origin with no questions asked. Because adoption involves money the system can be corrupt and difficult to navigate. Just because someone says they can process an adoption, doesn't mean they can. Whomever you chose should be able to prove success and show you other completed adoptions. We believe it is very important that the orphanage care about preserving family and that they have some vested interest in helping prevent the placement of orphans too.
Adoption is a beautiful, restorative, and redemptive thing for children in need of a family. It is not without pain and risk. It will not solve or even come close to scratching the surface of the "orphan crisis". Many children in orphanages have a living birth-parent. "Orphan" is a misnomer. The more questions you ask of your orphanage about their philosophy and approach, the more assured you can be that you are adopting a child that was ethically taken into the orphanage and needs to be adopted.
Adoption from Haiti will cost 15 to 20K (varies) - those costs include about 3-4K that is spent on the HomeStudy and USA document preparation. Costs are sometimes hidden, beware of that at the outset.
Because our adoptions were done almost 11 years ago and before the earthquake we cannot advise on the length of the current adoption process in Haiti. We have heard many families are waiting two or more years. We have heard that UNICEF is forcing some changes in the process in late 2012. With International adoption it is good to be cognizant that at any point the country can change their rules or shut down. It is a risk you'll have to weigh and consider.
Posts on Adoption:
A letter to future adoptive parents - HERE.
When your children come home - good advice HERE.
and here: The truth about adoption - One Year later (Jen Hatmaker)
Transracial Adoption - Love is Colorblind? A Vision Test
Adoption is built on pain
Statistically Speaking
Calling for Balance
A boat that needs rocking
2012 - Alleviate
An adoption reunion story (19 years in the making)
Adoption Ethics
First, Do No Harm
There will never be enough people desiring and willing to adopt to reduce the orphan crisis. It should be the goal of every adoptive parent to find ways to keep families together in addition to being willing to adopt a child that cannot stay with his/her family. Sometimes as consumers we get to thinking that because we have financial means we are better suited to parent and raise a child than the biological family. That is arrogant and not usually correct. (Plus, if we believe that it means that 90% of the children in the world are being raised by unfit poor people.) People without material blessing live joy-filled and inspiring lives. Poor people love their children too.
The prevention of orphans is the only way the orphan crisis will ever be improved. There are ministries that work to support women to keep and raise their own children in poorer countries. In addition to adopting it would be a huge blessing for all adoptive parents to also invest in organizations and people that are working to address the core issues and offer support to first-mothers.
2012 Nat'l Adoption Day Post with many additional and new links.
(This page is always under construction - new links will periodically be added here.)
(Don't adopt because the Pastor of your church said "We should adopt because we are adopted". Don't adopt out of guilt. Do it only because you are certain you should and certain you will fight with all your might to raise your child. Adoption as a "movement" in churches is concerning to me. It has to be more personal than a Pastor telling you to do it.) Read this post, about Orphan Sunday.
We adopted two of our children from Haiti before we ever lived here. The orphanage our children were placed in back in 2001 is no longer operating. (Yes, there was an issue of corruption - Nope, not what you guessed - the American woman behind it was the problem.) As with all international adoption, the process is somewhat difficult and can be very long. We love the gift of adoption and believe that with caution it is something very worth pursuing. We have since adopted a third Haitian child and consider it an honor, joy, and privilege to love and parent these fabulous children.
We now struggle a lot with the fact that one of our three kids probably should never have been placed. He was a "poverty orphan" and we have a lot of really difficult questions and some guilt about that. Do a ton of research. Think about how children come to be placed and be sure you are questioning someone that has a lot of healthy babies in their orphanage - that is a red flag.
If you are thinking of adopting from Haiti:
We don't currently recommend any one orphanage or program in Haiti. We would strongly urge against a handful. (I would personally not choose His Home for Children or Giving Hope Rescue Mission.) A simple Google search should help you find them quickly. Not all orphanages in Haiti are licensed to process adoptions. We recommend that you research the methods and procedures of the orphanage thoroughly. Some orphanages in Haiti take children from their families of origin with no questions asked. Because adoption involves money the system can be corrupt and difficult to navigate. Just because someone says they can process an adoption, doesn't mean they can. Whomever you chose should be able to prove success and show you other completed adoptions. We believe it is very important that the orphanage care about preserving family and that they have some vested interest in helping prevent the placement of orphans too.
Adoption is a beautiful, restorative, and redemptive thing for children in need of a family. It is not without pain and risk. It will not solve or even come close to scratching the surface of the "orphan crisis". Many children in orphanages have a living birth-parent. "Orphan" is a misnomer. The more questions you ask of your orphanage about their philosophy and approach, the more assured you can be that you are adopting a child that was ethically taken into the orphanage and needs to be adopted.
Adoption from Haiti will cost 15 to 20K (varies) - those costs include about 3-4K that is spent on the HomeStudy and USA document preparation. Costs are sometimes hidden, beware of that at the outset.
Because our adoptions were done almost 11 years ago and before the earthquake we cannot advise on the length of the current adoption process in Haiti. We have heard many families are waiting two or more years. We have heard that UNICEF is forcing some changes in the process in late 2012. With International adoption it is good to be cognizant that at any point the country can change their rules or shut down. It is a risk you'll have to weigh and consider.
Posts on Adoption:
A letter to future adoptive parents - HERE.
When your children come home - good advice HERE.
and here: The truth about adoption - One Year later (Jen Hatmaker)
Transracial Adoption - Love is Colorblind? A Vision Test
Adoption is built on pain
Statistically Speaking
Calling for Balance
A boat that needs rocking
2012 - Alleviate
An adoption reunion story (19 years in the making)
Adoption Ethics
First, Do No Harm
There will never be enough people desiring and willing to adopt to reduce the orphan crisis. It should be the goal of every adoptive parent to find ways to keep families together in addition to being willing to adopt a child that cannot stay with his/her family. Sometimes as consumers we get to thinking that because we have financial means we are better suited to parent and raise a child than the biological family. That is arrogant and not usually correct. (Plus, if we believe that it means that 90% of the children in the world are being raised by unfit poor people.) People without material blessing live joy-filled and inspiring lives. Poor people love their children too.
The prevention of orphans is the only way the orphan crisis will ever be improved. There are ministries that work to support women to keep and raise their own children in poorer countries. In addition to adopting it would be a huge blessing for all adoptive parents to also invest in organizations and people that are working to address the core issues and offer support to first-mothers.
2012 Nat'l Adoption Day Post with many additional and new links.
(This page is always under construction - new links will periodically be added here.)
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