Thursday, August 23, 2012

on driving and unsurpassable worth

I'm under the impression that most reading here have some sort of interest in Haiti.  It is safe to guess that maybe many of you have been here before.

Since I don't know for certain, I'll write this as if you've never experienced the driving here in Port au Prince first-hand.




  • While in sitting-still-traffic, cars and trucks will jam up against you on every side, creating "lanes" where a lane-never-once-existed or even thought about existing. 
  • Three inches between cars all headed the same direction is not seen as worrisome to most drivers in Port au Prince. 
  • Brushing driver-side mirrors with oncoming traffic is not uncommon or worth talking about.
  • While you wait to turn left, in what is theoretically the only left turn lane, someone will come up on the left (technically in the lane of oncoming traffic) to turn left to the left of you. (That is not to say that someone won't also turn left from the right side of you.) 
  • As you approach a line up of traffic and cars not moving, cars from behind you will come around you on either side of you and try to get into the standing still line before you.  
  • Slow down to be polite to someone turning into your lane or direction of traffic, the car behind you will honk and be annoyed with you for not jamming up against the next car ASAP like the rest of the insane world. 
  • When the intersection is complete grid lock and there is literally ZERO movement in any direction, save the wind, a giant blaring MAC truck horn will blow unceasingly. (Because that's helpful.) 
  • None of this is forbidden. There aren't really "rules" per se. There are a few intersections in the city that are notoriously ridiculous. 

Between that sort of non-sensical driving, too many cars on very rough insufficient roads, and many hours spent in those conditions on certain days, it can sometimes cause a person to feel enraged. I'm telling you, it is challenging.

Perhaps this does not resonate with some expats or Haitians, but we have found one of the very hardest places to keep Jesus in our mind and actions and words - is from behind the wheel on the roads of Port au Prince.

A patient person becomes impatient. A mellow and happy person becomes quite irritable.

Troy starts out as a more cool-headed driver than I do; no news flash there. Driving makes me agitated. I try not to go far very often. My over-developed sense of justice just cannot take it. I am very much a "lets take turns and be fair" kind of person and the lack of polite turn taking pushes every hideous button in my soul.

When I do drive I have to talk to myself about it first. I need to say things like, "It doesn't matter that it is not fair.  It doesn't matter if someone is rude. Your job is to be polite and calm." Some days are really okay and I might not even get annoyed.  On a really good day it is all funny and entertaining. On a bad day it feels like everyone is trying to crash into my precious children and it is harder to keep from muttering curse words at the idiocy of it all while employing the "if I cannot beat em, I'll join em strategy". It's madness I tell you.

Recently Troy and I were together at an intersection that was meeting every single qualification for high level annoyance. It was the type of annoyance that can quickly morph into anger. Troy was driving. I was the passenger. As the less refined driver, I was watching him closely.

It was truly everything I described in the list above. Troy kept making sweeping arm motions toward other drivers while saying out loud, "unsurpassable worth" -  "unsurpassable worth" "see there? unsurpassable worth!"  - as jack-asses plowed into the intersection from every which way causing the already difficult situation in that intersection to become more chaotic, more ridiculous.

I was impressed that the statement itself seemed to calm my annoyance from the passenger seat. I accused him of showing off and being uber-spiritual but he said, no, it is important for him to actually think those words. He needs to literally remind himself of that in order to keep from getting very angry at times.

I think I'll try this the next few times I come up against insanity on the roads to find out if it works. I also think I'll try it when I read the news, or see friends fighting about politics or whatever-thing on Facebook, or when someone lies to me, or steals or cheats.

Annoyed with someone?  Repeat after me: Unsurpassable worth, unsurpassable worth... Unsurpassable worth. Fine, be annoyed ... but if keeping the annoyance from turning to rage or bad behavior is a sub-goal of yours, just try it with me. Jesus told us each and every one has unsurpassable worth; that all alone they are worth the price He paid.

Yes, even drivers in Haiti. 


27 comments:

Kelly said...

Love this! I've been to Haiti twice but seriously don't know if I will ever be brave enough to drive there. :) Hoping to be back in Jan staying at Heartline and would love to help bring anything y'all may need. Coming from DFW.

michele rager said...

as I walk across the yard and see that once again, the nannies aren't watching the children *unsurpassable worth*...as I look and see that Danny is once again not wearing his sandals *unsurpassable worth*...as I walk into my room and realize the cleaning lady skipped it again *unsurpassable worth*...as I great another instance of unmitigated filth and unsanitary conditions on my street *unsurpassable worth* - thanks, I needed this. It is easy, in the sight of all this lawlessness, to forget that this too is what He paid the price for...*unsurpassable worth*

Echo of Eve said...

I've never been to Haiti. I found your blog because I'm interested in adoption, but I stayed because.. well.. I like you, and I think your family is darling, and I love the "Jesus" that I see in your family, and I appreciate how blunt you are about your experiences and how it reminds me that what I live in every day is not "normal". (I've traveled in Central America and rural, mountainous, tribal China, but the daily reminders that the American way is not the normal way of life on this planet is really really healthy for my headspace.)

Thank you, for your daily dose of normalcy. Thank you for your reminders of what the 'kingdom of heaven' actually looks like. Thank you for reminding me of who we're praying for and trying to love. (Btw, what you describe is 100% what I experienced in China. I'm really glad we hired a local driver.)

Holly said...

Just thought I'd say "hi" and let you know that I found you thanks to good ole google after the haiti earthquake. I was wanting to read more than the news that was readily available. What started as mere curiosity(just being honest here) God has used to open my eyes to more of the depth.width.and.height of His love for people of Haiti. Thanks for the honesty and love for HIM that is displayed in your writing...
Holly

Kathy C. said...

I have been to Haiti I think six times. I am usually sure we are going to have an accident but since there are usually 30 people shoved into a 15 person van and I'm always in the middle I figure I'll be okay!

PS I deleted and reposted this because it had the word verification in the middle ?!?!

T & T Livesay said...

Super sweet encouragement ladies ... thank-you.

The Entrekins said...

One day (in the states, no less) my daughter began praying for God to give me self-control while I ranted about traffic. In the DR at least she has come to appreciate my sarcasm when we encounter lifestock blocking our way, or almost hit motos with no lights on streets with no lights, or we don't know which way the one-way street really goes...
Thanks for the reminder.

Kristen Renz said...

Troy and Tara,
I love reading your daily blogs on the beautiful and not so beautiful realities of life in Haiti for a family of real people living in a very real, often chaotic environment. Driving in Haiti definitely falls under the chaos category. When we were there during Stanley's adoption in 2001-2002 (remembering little Hope & Isaac waiting for their forever family too :), I remember driving from point A to point B was seldom a straight line or even a gentle curve. More like Mr Toa
d's wild ride at Disneyland! I know now why all the TapTaps are painted with Jesus references. Only by His grace do they survive the streets of Port au Prince!
We are bringing a group down to Heartline from our church next March 29-April 6 and to prepare them, we have been sharing your blog which gives such an accurate picture of what they might see and experience. We've been trying to impress upon them just how bad the driving is, but your blog did the job! Definitely be sharing this one with the group.
Hope to see you all when we are down. It would be fun for Stanley to reunite with Isaac and Hope since they were orphanage-mates.
Keep the blogs coming!
Kristen Renz

Britney said...

I live in Haiti, but in a less congested area that PaP. This is such an accurate portrayal of driving/traffic in Haiti! I may have to link to this post in the future.


And, I'm surprised by the poll votes. I thought for sure there would be more readers who had been here. Very cool to see your readership is not tied to those who have visited Haiti.

Anonymous said...

We lived in Haiti for over 8 months in 09 (Blueridge) and I can so identify !! Another irritation was how they grabbed my arm and pulled and pushed at the market .It helps to keep a sense of humour..once I grabbed the grabbers arm and hung on laughing .She laughed too and it diffused a tense moment. I have good memories and have visited since in the 70's...

Holly said...

Yep, that about sums it up regarding the traffic in PAP. For those wondering, this is not an exaggerated! I travel to Haiti often as a short term missionary and the traffic (and travel) is always an adventure. I have told friends repeatedly if I had to travel in PAP on a daily basis I would not stay sane!!!! The only aspect you left out was the presence of live animals being transported in all sorts of 'creative' ways! Lol

What a wonderful way to remind ourselves of God's love for everyone! Even those that don't play fair or know how to take turns.

Thank you for sharing your love and faith with us.

Annie said...

I have not been to Haiti, but have many Haitian friends here in Central FL and have a heart for missions. Also, you have a fantastic blog!

So, driving there reminded me of driving in parts of Puerto Rico and in Beijing China. Sometimes, I wondered how everyone made to work and home safely everyday?!! Not to mention all of the pedestrians and the motor-scooters in Beijing crammed in there too. Lord have mercy it was stressful and I wasn't even the driver!! I couldn't imagine driving it.

I will keep that mantra, however, in mind next time we are in traffic and share it with my husband... ;-)

Amanda Knighten said...

I have been to Haiti twice and occasionally had to close my eyes because I just knew we were not going to make it out of the traffic alive! I applaud you for driving there! Thank you for writing about the real Haiti. I appreciate all the work that you are doing.

Amanda

Mama D’s Dozen said...

I haven't been to Haiti . . . but it sounds just like Ghana, to me. :)

I am such a "turn taker" and "let's all be fair", that I cannot imagine driving in it. I would be so nice, that everyone would be mad at me for trying to be nice.

:) :) :)

Teresa said...

I have never been to Haiti. And at this point, I can't even really remember how I found your blog. God has placed Haiti in my heart for a number of years. I sponsor some kids that live in Haiti through Compassion International. I even considered adopting from Haiti, but that isn't where God led me ultimately. I really appreciate your openness about what life is like there, and how you try to walk in faith amidst the many challenges.

Melody said...

The ability to write a post that is entertaining, informative, and inspiring is an art form. And you nailed it here.

I voted, but I thought I'd expand a little. I've never been to Haiti. And though I'm not averse to ever going, it's not on my mission or travel radar. I just like reading the blog/journals of people serving Jesus by serving other people, whether they be in the states or abroad. I also really like learning about other cultures, and blogs tend to be the best way to do that because they're meant to be real, not educational. For what it's worth, I do have friends that have gone to Haiti and friends that have adopted from Haiti. It was probably through them that my mom found your blog, though I couldn't say for sure. :)

Lynn said...

I've never been to Haiti (or out of North America,) I think I found your blog after the earthquake, because I began to have a passion for Haiti. I loved reading it and have been hooked ever since. We sponsor children in Haiti through Help One Now. I know I would never be able to drive there being from Amish country where our biggest challenge is passing three buggies in a row.

Gail said...

Like a lot of the commenters, I found Heartline and your blog after the earthquake. I love to read about your adventures, positive and negative and everything in between. Your honesty is refreshing and eye-opening and inspiring. I have never been to Haiti, but my sister got to go last month. I was insanely jealous. Someday I'll go there, and maybe I'll even convince my husband to join me. I'd love to stay at Heartline's guesthouse!

yellowgirl said...

i do this kind of driving EVERY SINGLE DAY TOO. except in MANILA, which is about 1000x PAP. i am going to start saying 'unsurpassable worth' for sure now. (as opposed to my litany of spiritual profanities that now come out when i am sorely pressed...) =)))

Sarah SSM said...

Don't forget the horns! I think it is required to honk at least every block.

I am living in Haiti (though currently in the US for annual visits/check-ups) and have no intention EVER to drive there/here unless it's an extreme emergency. Just riding can be exhausting, even in the city.

I must keep your mantra in mind.

Mamita J said...

AMAZING STRATEGY!!! Thank you from the bottom of my heart!

keight dukes said...

so much likings of you.

Rachel said...

Hahahaha...I just saw this post. Here are my thoughts.

A.) If you can add to the list the qualifier of driving through this traffic in a car with no air conditioning so it's approximately 300 degree Kelvin in your car and the amount of car exhaust and dust you are breathing in are sure to making up some sort of cakey substance inside of your lungs. THAT'S when PAP traffic is at it's best. (And everyone is trying to sell you platic water bags and plantains and toro) The only thing I think that can make this better is when your car actually breaks down in the middle of it.

B.) I always found that in situations like this it was best to just give up and cry. This was not my take on life before moving to Haiti. I would never really choose to cry in front of people. I had moments like you described where the frustration mounted to an all time high and there was nothing to be done to stop the tears. I found that Haitans just don't know what to do with the crying girl. I don't think they like it (I always got pa kriye...priye).

Maybe next time you're trying to make a left hand turn at Delmas 33 or somewhere crazy conjested just throw your hands up and cry and make sure all the people stopped in oncoming traffic see it! Maybe they'll let you pass! (and if that works, please let me know...I will put it to work in the future too!)

Danielle said...

I've never visited Haiti but I am a missionary in El Salvador and I can relate to this post. I sin daily while sitting in traffic in San Salvador. Thank you for this perspective!

Asiaha said...

I've been to Haiti once but I can still attest to all that you have said. The driving is crazy in Haiti. Going 80, on the back on a cattle truck with a car coming straight at you and then swerves in the other lane at the last minute is not fun :). But, I still would love to go back!!

amesigee said...

Hi Tara, I am one of the many readers who found your blog after the earthquake and have been a faithful reader ever since. This seems like a good time to introduce myself. I most appreciate you sharing the specific prayer requests of your family and ministry so that my I and family can lift up the women of Heartline by name. It is your honest approach to blogging and the incredible stories you tell that are so engaging and keep me coming back. Amy
PS. Never been to Haiti.

Dizneluver said...

I have been to Haiti (x2) so I can relate to what you wrote about the traffic :)

I love the UNSURPASSABLE WORTH mantra...and look forward to using it when I have to deal with the crazy drivers here in Colorado Springs (yeah it will NEVER be as bad as the ones in Haiti but IMHO they are still bad) :)

Loving God, Loving Haiti, Loving the Livesays!

XOXOXOXO

Kelly D <>< :)